(Advanced apologies for a rambling, picture-less post. This one is for me and I won’t feel bad if you get bored halfway through or skip it altogether.)
Life lately has been a test of patience. I re-injured my left knee the day before Christmas and spent the next two weeks resting and recovering. Last Friday, I was finally feeling recovered. I had a great PT visit and my Physical Therapist said I was 3-4 weeks away from starting to exercise regularly. That night was also Tommy’s work’s Winter Party. All I needed to do was to take it easy, sit out the dancing and go home early to get some rest. That would have set me up to start walking on Saturday and begin slowly building up my time/mileage again.
Instead I had a few glasses of wine with friends, couldn’t resist the dancing and stayed out past midnight. Low and behold I work up on Saturday to a swollen mess of a left knee. Now, I take full responsibility for this mishap. This was 100% my own doing. But, quite frankly, it still sucks.
Over the past 14 months I have had to take a backseat to every social event I’ve attended and every trip I’ve taken. I have to turn down countless invitations to go walking, skiing, shopping, visiting etc… on account of my knee. I’m tired of being that person. I’m tired of staying home instead of going out with friends. I’m tired of explaining why I need to sit with my leg up and require special treatment.
There’s a light at the end of my tunnel and I’m getting very close. I know that I am incredibly fortunate that my injury is so small and so fixable. I am grateful for my health, for my ability to heal and for all the support I’ve had over the past year. Tommy has cooked, cleaned, driven, done yard work, ran errands, and completed every other imaginable task for us when I’ve been unable. He’s carried me up and down the stairs when I’ve been too weak. He’s comforted me through all the tears, frustration and pain. My parents came to visit me after my first surgery and my mom stayed with us for the week after my second. My friends have fetched me ice, given up their seats and changed plans to accommodate me. I know how lucky I am and I know the end is coming soon.
Regardless, I’m so tired of not being myself. I miss my body, I miss exercise and I miss doing things. I haven’t blogged much over the past few weeks because I haven’t done much. Point and case: I’ve watched three seasons of Friends on Netflix since January 1.
This week will likely be light on posts. I have one post planned but other than that I’ll be resting in my chair watching too much tv. I hope to be back to projects, adventures, meals and trips worth writing about very soon.
I keep thinking about the summer and getting giddy with excitement at the idea of walking, running, hiking, biking without giving it a second thought. I live in the most fun neighborhood for summer. There’s the bike path, the beach, breweries, restaurants and so much more within walking distance. I plan to take full advantage of being outdoors and moving my body. I am so excited to socialize and go out in a normal way. To go to a spin class, a barre class or for a walk with a friend. I know that it will all be worth the wait.
In the meantime, I’m committed to recovery. I’ve learned my lesson and know that I need to scale back and know when to say “no, thank you.”
If you made it this far – thanks for ‘listening’. It feels good to get this off my chest.